Nine Circles of Tramping: A not-so-divine comedy

Pouakai Circuit, Te Papakura o Taranaki (Egmont National Park)

23rd of Jan — Pouakai Hut

#1 Limbo

I was in limbo, where were the others? We had a descent walk to do to get to Pouakai Hut and the clock was ticking. I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“What does the tea-pot light on the dashboard mean? is it an issue if it’s on?” rambled my cousin Zoe on the phone.

To make matters worse, one of the party members had been gripped by Smeg-mania and was on an unholy quest for knives. The result of the aforementioned issues along with a few others meant it wasn’t until 11:30am when the car pulled in to pick me up. I was beginning to wonder what I had signed up for. On the way to Taranaki it was becoming clear that there were a few misunderstandings — Zoe was under the impression that the walk was only 2–3 hours. I was pained to explained that yes, one track to Pouakai would be 2–3 hours, but that wasn’t the track we were taking as it would leave the car in the wrong place. This was followed by a slew of complaints regarding my carefully constructed route map that had been distributed pre-trip. Xindi complained that it didn’t…